When the world is ending, We toast to it!

I hate war. I hate it with a passion. I hate that it tears people apart, families apart, nations apart… There are thousands and thousands of people who lose their lives and there is not a thing we can do about it. I even hate that I sit here and blab on about my disliking for it… I hate that I sit here not being able to do anything but winge.
There is one question that haunts me. I thought about it today during silence..Would I trade my life… for the freedom of someone else’s?Would I give up my luxury? For someone else’s freedom?
Honestly, unless I was forced to.. I wouldn’t.
Yet Jesus would. He wouldn’t think twice about it… He would drop everything to see His people free from suffering.
I am not saying that this is an option for God, that this is an option for us. But it’s more of a “what if” I hate what if’s.. I seem to hate a lot of things don’t I?
What I don’t hate is God. By far I would say he is the solid note in my life… the continuous hum. The only note held well when I am singing badly.

My Spiritual Growth class was on Silence today. Painful, horrible silence. I would like to firstly point out that I am not a “post modern person” or an “MTV generation” person that can’t handle no noise and always has to have the radio or tv on. It is not like that at all. I can drive without music playing. I can sit in a room and read without the cd player on or the tv on. But asked to sit in silence and actually concentrate on that silence is not just painful… it’s the thoughts that come in and the images that fill my mind.. it's like a silent attack that no one can see or understand. After an hour of silence, my mind does calm down and stops screaming at me.. it's like the sea is calm and i see things for they really are. hmm.
We did this strange walk today, just around the front of campus. But we walked in silence.. thats the catch [haha]. when we finally stop and sat down to journal; my first initial words on the paper were "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? I PAY $4000 TO WALK IN SILENCE?" well along those lines.. But then I got into my thoughts... thoughts outside this stupid box we live in. thoughts beyond what I would normally think. I thought how lucky am I that I can walk around in pure silence.. while on the other side of the world is complete distruction.
you know, im pretty tired and have to much on my mind to spill.. I'll leave on that note and maybe come back to this later. if yourintererested, remind me!

"Everyone has a little Jonah in them..."

I guess I'll start this thing off on a poisitive note. Due to a painful "Stephen Said's" class... Im just going to start using this for an online outlet.
The name "I am Jonah" came to mind pretty fast when I was thinking of a name for this thing. I've been a "Jonah" [Refering to the Jonah in the bible who did a lot of running and hiding from God] I've been him all my life. well all my life is a little extreme. there are times when I followed Him, mostly on church camps.. and the first day after. But most of the time im dumbly running and hiding from God, ignoring Him and avoiding being in His presence. 2006 symbolises the fact that I have turned my life around and start following Him and listening to Him.. His not scary.. He doesn't express His "Wrathe" to me...

Thats the explanation to my name.

I think everyone has a little Jonah in them.. everyone has run, is running or contemplates running away from God.