Blessings

In a sudden fit of confidence, I suddenly had the biggest urge to quit my job. I'm not a very spontantious person.. I usually have to think things over a few times and then ask other peoples advice. But all I did was pray about it.. the next day I found myself handing my boss my resignation letter.. I think I was more suprised then he was. He actually was really sad to see my go and told me that I had been a real treasure among his team, then he went on to list all these things I had done for him,(that I thought went un noticed), but he had noticed and thanked me for each and every one of them.
It's amazing the places we leave our impact.. and we never realise.
nearly 5 years I had been doing the same thing, nearly 30 hours a week.... and then one day I woke up and God let me know he had bigger plans for me.

I had a little panic attack after uni on the train, last Monday, thinking about how on Sunday I wanted to thank God just a little bit more by giving God my whole pay check to help the homeless people of Melbourne... looking at my account the following day, I had a total of 52 cents. I had a wave of regret.. on EVERYTHING... from going back to uni, qutting my only income and giving away all the money I had. But it was slowly followed by a comforting voice telling me "I have better plans for you".

Yesterday I had my first contracted paying job, photographing the sights of the city for his apartment promosion. It was only a mere $75 but He really liked my photos, and is willing to offer me more work.

Everything is slowly falling into place. I am 100% relying on God.. and not on myself or anyone else.. something that is taking every once of my strength, which I find in my God alone...


(IF YOU NEED ANY PHOTOGRAPHY WORK DONE, I would really appreciate the work.)
I only charge $50- $75, which is realllly cheap.

grace has found me just as I am,

I know I need to write about the past couple of weeks, but it's so raw and emotional.. i don't know where to start.

what I am about to write, can not be talked about in a gossip form.. and if you don't know the full story then I ask that you don't discuss this with anyone and attempt to tell people these things, if you don't know. also I don't want any questions.



God's really been hitting me hard, I don't think it's God, but I know something greater then you and I, has been attacking me with real spiritual and emotional power.
I'm sitting here listening to the typical Reauben Morgan, listening to every word and finding a spiritual praise through it. He uses words I love and creates lines that only the soul can sing... something I have been having incredible trouble singing in church, even singing in the car on the way home.
it's 10:18pm and It has been a week since uni has started.. it's been a week since I threw myself back into the "real" world. Normally I would turn myself into a little cameleon and adjust to my surroundings. Before 2006(yits) I had been living as the type of Christian every American has been claiming to be. The typical, Sunday Christian.. but only just. 2006 turned me into a born again Christian, finding my feet and the meaning of who I am.. I think I am even close to realising who I actually am.... but it's freaking hard at uni, it's hard to find a voice, it's hard to find your place and it's hard to find yourself.
But I dedicated my gift of photography, I dedicated my human life 100% to Jesus' use.
and it's been the hardest yet most incredible thing I have ever done.
Because I love Jesus more then my life.
I have let go of everything that I made me.
music
clothing
words
labels etc..

It's hard.. so hard, but I made a promise, I am not going to worry about yesterday and I am not going to worry about tomorrow.
"This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it." PSALMS 118:24
Live it. Breath it. embrace life...

Effect number 2:
A very very close friend of mine began down a path, that changed everyone's lives. I still can't talk about this, because the depth it goes.. there is just layers and layers of things that have been happening... I knew it would happen.. we could see it coming, but none of us wanted this, honestly none of us were at all prepared for this.
I just feel like im losing him.
see I want to push him away, I want to block him from my life, destroy my connections.
But it's not him i'm doing it to.

I have strange visions, and I invisioned him getting injected with this darkness.. and slowly his blody is turning into this horrible darkness.. his disfigured and hardly recognisable, it makes me feel sick even thinking about it... it's the most horrible thing I have ever invisioned. But I look all over him, taking in all the darkness and crap (old and new) all the scars, cuts and bruises... but then there is the bright red heart.. it's beating so hard and fast.. fighting the darkness.. it keeps pushing the black harder out of the body, it loses parts but it's still fighting. it's such a bright blood red that I look at it and it's full of hope and peace and strength. I keep praying that it reaches parts of the body, and his body finds that strength....

Here I am, humbled by your majesty,

Covered by your grace so free.

Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man,

Covered by the blood of the Lamb.

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine,

Since You laid down Your life, the greatest sacrifice.

Majesty, Majesty.

Your grace has found me just as I am,

Empty-handed but alive in Your hands.

Here I am, humbled by the love that You give,

Forgiven so that I can forgive.

So here I stand, knowing that I am Your desire,

Sanctified by glory and fire.

And now I've found the greatest love of all is mine,

Since You laid down Your life, the greatest sacrifice.

Majesty, Majesty.Y

your grace has found me just as I am,

Empty-handed but alive in Your hands.

Singing Majesty, Majesty.

Forever I am changed by Your love,

In the presence of Your Majesty, Majesty.

We're singing Majesty, Majesty.

Your grace has found me just as I am.

And I'm nothing but alive in Your hands.

Just typing it is soothing. Martin Smith and Stu Garrard have to be two of the best songwriters on the planet. All of their songs have such a depth of spirit and creativeness of lyric that it's impossible not to exactly picture what they are depicting.

I'm so all over the place, and this insanely big post. if you are reading it down to this very word.. then I want to thank you for listening to my rant/problems. And pray that my world won't crumbel and fall...