Today I asked myself,
what is one thing I want REALLLY bad right now.
and the answer was a hug.
I need a hug so badly.
I use to be such a hugging and huggable person.. but I feel like i'm pushing that away. I don't like to touch people anymore, because i'm not sure I'm allowed to. My best friend, Joe, and I use to hang out and cuddle and hold hands. neither of us thought of each other in a romantic way and only saw it as a friendship where we really appreciated each other and really liked sharing how we felt, which was respect and love as friends. Then Joe started dating this girl, Bec, and she took my place and saw how Joe and I acted and told Joe that I do all that stuff because I like him. So Joe and I stopped doing that stuff, stopped hugging, stopped hanging out.. because my actions appeared wrong.
So in time, I stopped myself from being like that with everyone. Becuase i'm tired of being judged and viewed wrongly.. and to be honest, I don't know and don't see how far is to far... I don't know if thats bad, but I think it is.
So I don't have any physical contact with anyone and tried to avoid physical contact with people (except mainly with girls because they are not getting the wrong idea)
I am craving a hug but
I'm afraid i've forgotten how to hug :(
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2 comments:
Awww gem, you can hug me anytime :P
me too, me too!! and i totally know how u feel!! i've been there too! it sucks! luv u! luv Jo
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